Men don't get it. And they will tell you that too. They will also tell you that they have no conscious thoughts floating around in their heads at any given time. Just ask.
So is it really surprising that they almost always say exactly the wrong thing?
For me this comes up most frequently when I lament the fact, that despite running several miles a day, doing martial arts and eating grass disguised as salad, I can't lost weight. You'd think, after 12 years together he'd have a clue by now. But no, still clueless. Instead of saying what any sane woman wants to hear, Honey, I love you just the way you are... he's always saying crap like, I'm sure if you keep at it, the weight will come off. Tell the truth, you want to kill him already, don't you?
But I must admit fault here too. See, I was very slow to realize that I was supposed to tell him exactly what to say. That's right ladies, they will not figure it out for themselves. Ever. So it is up to us to coach them in the fine are of saying the right thing.
So the last time my husbands started in on his Oh, I'm sure you'll get it figured out eventually.... I stopped him mid-sentence. I tried not to actually say shut up, but it may have slipped out. Anyway, I stopped him before he made sure he'd never have sex again in this century and told him point blank, that is not what you're supposed to say!
Oh the confusion. The poor dear really didn't know what was going on. But I stood my ground and told him to quit trying to encourage me because he just didn't know how. I told him to repeat after me and slowly, with careful enunciation, said the words that every man should write on the back of his hand and say at least 10 times a day to the woman in his life. Honey, I love you just the way you are. I made him repeat it. I also told him to throw in a I don't think you need to lose any weight for good measure.
I told him to practice on his own. A lot.
Next week we're working on I don't care if you gain 50 pounds, I'll still love you just the way you are.
7 comments:
This is exactly why I'm single. I've got no patience, just claws.
I love your blog just the way it is.
Lee
I have to trim my claws regularly, just so I don't hurt anyone.
LBB
Wow. You're a fast learner.
Kinda cute too, no?
Ah, but it's a double-edged sword. "I love you just how you are," can always result in, "And just how, exactly, is that? Fat? Ugly?"
You see the danger here in answering at all?
Lee
Yes indeed.
Avery
Then you just need to tweak it a little. Say, I think you're perfect the way you are. That ought to work.
you are going about this ALL WRONG! trust me. i have been married almost 40 years. here is the problem: say "wow i lost 6 pounds this week! can you notice it?" i guarantee he'll notice. heck sarge still buys me size six nighties and i wear an 18!!! see?? i promise it will work. they are truly clueless.
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