Wednesday, April 30, 2008


Oh how I love Disneyland.

We're taking the kids next week and I am stupid excited. We haven't been in four years since we took our daughter there for her birthday and I think I'm more jazzed than the kids.

My son has never been so he doesn't have a point of reference. He's kind of excited but I don't think knows why. My daughter is kind of excited too, but she's torn between being happier over going to Disneyland or missing school. Understandable.

Disneyland is one of those memories for me that has never been sullied by anything unpleasant. Even arguing over who got the last E ticket (for those of you who remember those) can take the shine off the Magic Kingdom. I remember going on Space Mountain as a kid and being dazzled by the stars glowing in the darkness. That was my favorite ride for a long time. Now that I'm older I appreciate the Pirates of the Caribbean more. Who needs all the twists and turns of a roller coasted when you can watch the pirates chase the pirate wenches -- though now they've made it PC by having the wenches carrying platters of food so delicate minds won't think salacious thoughts.

Oh and the light parade. I used to love staying up late and watching the light parade. We're driving in Sunday and we're going to take the kids to see the parade once we get there. My daughter was a little scared of it the last time we went. I remember her being bothered by the snails that would drive around in circles. Hopefully she's forgotten that by now.

Sadly, my daughter isn't into the Princesses anymore. They're too babyish for her now. Fortunately she is replacing the Princess fixation with a healthy appreciation for Jack Sparrow and frankly, I can find no fault with that.

So here's looking forward to walking our legs to the bone, standing in lines and getting sunburned in the happiest place on Earth. I can't wait.

Saturday, April 26, 2008

Sunny template gone, but this is cool...

Just me. Messing around.

Friday, April 25, 2008

Oh this is sunny, isn't it?

I found some new blogger templates and I'm messing around, as you can see. I like this one. It's all sunny and perky.

Anyway. Don't be too surprised if the blog looks different each time you come here. I may switch to Wordpress if I can't find a template in Blogger I like. So I'll be experimenting a bit.

Change is good though. Right?

Thursday, April 24, 2008

Wow, is it time for my weekly post already?

My, how time flies.

I've had a pretty good week, though sometimes it's hard. I really hate using my blog as sort of a pity party, but I just can't help myself. So today I decided to start writing in a journal to kind of vent all the nonsense that's been building up in my head.

I wrote 28 pages today.

Aren't you glad I decided to inflict that on a journal rather than you?

I must say though, it's one of the best ideas I've had in a while. I used to do this when I was a teenager. High school is such an angst-ridden time anyway and whenever I had additional stress, the only way I knew how to express it was to write in a journal. I don't know why I haven't done this since then, but I think it's high time I rediscovered it.

But I feel good. I feel like I had a long talk with an understanding, non-judgemental and very patient girl friend, who just happens to be one hell of a good listener.

I'd forgotten how cathartic writing can be. I think anyone reading this understands what I mean. We're all bloggers right?

There is something fairly egotistical about blogging-- not that there's anything wrong with that. At least for me it is. I have humble expectations, but at the same time I like to think that what goes on in my head is relatable to someone. I'm not the funniest blogger by a long shot. But like a lot of people I lay my humanity out there, with all its warts and wrinkles, hoping to connect with someone who "gets" where I'm coming from.

I'm working on being less damaged and needy. I'd like to be able to have a conversation without laying my life story at someones feet hoping for commiseration. I don't feel like being that pathetic anymore.

But still, 28 pages in one day. I have a lot of junk rattling around in my head don't I?

But hey, tomorrow's another day. Maybe I'll only write 14.

Next step. Channeling all that writing energy into writing a friggin' book!

Friday, April 18, 2008

Last Minute Mom Stuff

I feel like this blog is my neglected child. I have two other blogs that focus on sci-fi and they take so much of my blogging time that I never seem to have the chance to use this personal blog. I suppose that's just as well, I have had a tendency to be too maudlin over the last few months and no one really wants to see that. Heck, when I read personal blogs, I prefer the funny stuff. I just wish I had better comic timing.

I'm yawning all over the place today. My daughter, who turns eight on Sunday, decides to remind me last night at 9:30pm that she needs cupcakes to take to school today. Doh! I should have remembered that myself but it slipped my mind. Well, almost. I thought of it last night before she reminded me but I thought, I can do it Monday, that's closer to her birthday anyway. But second graders don't think that way. The class celebration must be prior to, or on, the actual birthday. So, not wanting to be the mom who shafted her kid on her birthday I schlepped myself up to the store, got supplies, and was up to about midnight making cupcakes. Oh well, it's all for a good cause. She may not remember as she gets older that I made her cupcakes for school, but she sure as hell would remember if I didn't!

She's a good kid though. I would've probably been kicking myself if I hadn't done it.

Not to get maudlin again (sorry!) but my parents have been known to forget my birthday. Not too much when I was little, but that's kind of hard when you have an 8-year-old reminding you every other second that their birthday is 2 days and 6--- no 5 hours and 45 minutes away. But there was this time when I was 10....

I'm not entirely sure they forgot my birthday but I think they did. I didn't get any birthday presents that year. My mom and dad gave me a card saying that my dad was going to build me a swing-set for my birthday. Bwahahahahahahah! I knew right then and there I'd never see the swing-set. My dad is not exactly a master builder. He put up a fence once and forgot to put in a gate. It was funny. We had this massive yard and my dad built a fence around the downstairs sliding door so we'd have a place to let the dogs out. But you could only get in and out of the yard through the slider since he forgot the gate. But he was so proud of that fence. It wasn't straight, but he built it.

I never asked my parents about the swing-set. I knew my dad wouldn't build it, but I also knew that if I pestered him enough to actually try, I'd end up with something sure to break my neck, so I let the whole thing lie. But I still think they forgot the birthday and tried to come up with a last minute promise so I wouldn't think they forgot. Wouldn't be the last time.

I wonder if my brothers had this happen to them too? I've never asked them and I probably won't. Why bother bringing up something that will just end up in a bitter conversation? (I know.. I know... why do I do this?) But in a way I'd like to know I wasn't alone in being a little forgotten.

Okay, I gotta shake this off. I don't want to be a downer. It's just I think of this stuff when my kids birthday's roll around. I know women have looooong memories but I suspect we all do when we're kids. And I sure as heck don't want my children to remember that I forgot to think they're important on their birthdays. I would deserve to be smacked for that.

Friday, April 11, 2008

Damn! Those Catholics are Good at the Guilt

I wonder if I should title this "us" Catholics, after all, I was raised in the church, confessions at 7 years old and everything.

Is it a sin to confess to something you didn't do just so you wouldn't waste the priest's time?

I thought I got away from the church though. I lapsed myself out of going to church, saying confession, lighting candles, rosaries and crossing myself. And I don't miss any of it.

But my husband has been feeling the guilt.

We haven't baptized our kids. I don't mind so much because I really don't believe that splashing some water on my kid's heads is going to make a damn bit of difference on where my kids will go when they die. (hopefully many many many years after me) But it's wearing on my husband so out of respect for his feelings (fear) we'll be baptizing them.

The church is a pain about the whole thing though. We had planned on getting our daughter baptized right after birth but the local church wanted us, and anyone who would be the godparents, to jump through some serious hoops. I remember classes were involved. Needless to say it didn't get done because no one we knew (relatives included) could do all the stuff the church demanded.

We're in a new area now and we'll be looking into the Catholic church out here to see what their demands are. What a pain.

I'm pretty comfortable with stepping outside the church and baptizing my kids in a Christian church of pretty much any denomination just to get it done with, but I bet my husband is going to insist on doing it the Catholic way. In most cases this wouldn't be a problem since I usually do everything. But I've been dragging my feet on this one and my husband so hates to do anything himself, so the process has been seriously stalled.

Why am I doing this? I'm not precisely sure. I don't have any problem with baptizing my kids, I just don't really buy into the biblical version of how I should live my life. I already do so many things the bible doesn't approve of, what's one more? I don't believe gay people are bad or evil, so I'm already cherry picking my belief system and the bible doesn't like a lot of the cherries I pick.

Does this mean I don't believe in God? Not necessarily. I just don't believe in the biblical version of God any more than I believe in Zeus. I can't disprove God exists so I guess I'll leave the option on the table that he could exist and leave it at that. Mostly I prefer to live my life according to the Golden Rule. You remember that don't you? "Do unto others as you would have them do unto you." Good words and ones to live by IMHO. I try to be ethical. I return wallets if I find them-- unopened (have done this), try not to lie (this should be easy but sometimes the "does this make me look fat" question has no tactful answer) and generally try not to curse or cut people off in traffic-- but no one is perfect.

Anyway. No Catholic guilt for me. I leave that to my husband.

Sunday, April 06, 2008

Sad Day

One of my favorite people in the blog world has lost his father. If you get a chance, do me a favor and go by Furiousblog and say a kind word or two. He is one of the funniest, smartest and nicest people I have had a chance to "meet" online. I think once you see his blog and read his posts you'll agree.

My thoughts and prayers are with you Van.