Don't use Siteground! Ever!

I've been trying all day to get a Wordpress site set up and made the bad mistake of signing on to a service called Siteground. They suck! I can't figure out how to use it at all and there is no live technical assistance. I decided to cancel and they're going to stick it to me with $50 worth of fees even though I haven't even set up a site.

Don't use Siteground ever!

Old Template not Working

Gah! I'm so frustrated.

Hibernation

The Olympics are here.

I love them. I watch them all the time. I will be of no use to anyone for about the next two weeks.

Children? What children?

There's no help for it. I'm a Junkie.

Yep, back on the diet cola.

I swear, it's like a drug. One swig and I'm hooked.

Okay, here's the rationalization part of the post. I had been doing really well off the diet cola, but I had gotten into a bad habit of substituting wine for the soda in the evenings. Not a good idea if you want to lose weight.

I am a big believer in taking a bath after the kids go to bed. Those Calgon ads were more accurate than they knew. And I like to do it up. I like to have the bubbles, a book and a drink. It used to be that I would take a soda in with me. Not romantic, but a cool drink and a hot bath are a nice combo. But after I stopped drinking soda I started bringing in a nice glass of wine. Nothing wrong with that right? And if I stopped at one glass that would probably be the case. But I always have to have one more when I get out-- you know, to wind down and all.

Those wine calories add up.

Sooooooo. I bought a litre of soda, just to have a bath time. And I hate to say it. But it's been a good thing for me. I've lost weight and probably two inches off my waist in the last two weeks. I must've been drinking more wine than I realized. Gosh, I'm a lush.

So here I am. Back on the soda, but off the wine.

But all may not be lost. I hear Diet Coke is going to start using Stevia instead of Splenda or Aspartame. That should be better, right? I hope so. I've actually had the Diet Coke with Stevia before when I was in Japan and it's tons better than what we have now.

I hope Diet Coke switches over. I'd like to feel a little less guilty.

Sort of a good news, bad news, good news.. kind of thing

Let me start with the good news. I took my son to the neurologist this last week and the first thing he said to me was "your son is definitely not autistic."

I like this doctor.

I wasn't actually too worried that my son would be diagnosed autistic. Despite the fact that Asperger's is considered on the autism spectrum, there seems to be some controversy over whether or not it should be considered an autism-like disorder at all. So all I was really worried about was what the doctor saw as a long-term prognosis for my son-- which apparently is very good.

The doctor said my son is too young to really evaluate for Asperger's, and since I have a couple of traits my son probably will too. But-- and this is what really won me over-- the doctor said "there is too much right with this boy for me to be worried about him."

Sweeeeeeet!

All I have to do at this point is make sure my son gets speech therapy and take him back to the neurologist in 6 months to monitor his progress. The doctor said the diagnosis could change over time, but he didn't think it would get worse-- only better. Words a mom likes to hear.

Okay. The bad news. My nephew calls me a few days ago. That's a good thing. I didn't have his number and had been wanting to hear from him. He's a good kid. He's 16, mellow and seems to be on the right track. His brother on the other hand....

This is where I get a pissed off for a bit.

My other nephew is in jail. Now, as bad as that is, that's not what I'm pissed about. My jailbird nephew (son of my jailbird brother) is 19 years old and has been in and out of jail for the last year (3 times I've been told) and I didn't know any of this. I also didn't know that he dropped out of school his Sophomore year (almost 3 years ago).

How is this possible you ask?

Because my mom is a liar. A chronic, bald-faced liar.

My mom spun me a story awhile ago about my nephew being in juvenile hall. Oh, he was in juvie, but that's all I ever heard. To hear my mom tell it, my nephew went back to school and everything was hunky-dory. WTF?

I remember asking my mom over the last year if she had had my nephews over to visit before she left and she always said she was too busy or too tired or whatever. I asked many times about those boys and not once did the subject of jail come up. I think I would have remembered that.

Why? Why lie? I don't get it.

So I guess my nephew is following in the dubious footsteps of my brother. The one I haven't seen for over 10 years thanks to his meth habit. Oh man. I hate hearing this kind of stuff.

So I'm going to end this post on a happy note.

My new couch came today.

I talked my husband into a sectional couch that is just gorgeous. It's not super trendy, but it is micro-fiber so I don't have to worry about kids and pets. It's soooooo soft and cuddly. We ordered the fabric so it's not the cheap micro-fiber that's stiff. It's like a baby's butt. Is that a good description? I don't care. It's soft. And it has a corner with my name on it.

My husband... kind of like Costanza

My husband is a great guy. I've mentioned him several times on my blog and I think we can all agree he got more than his money's worth when he married me. And not in a good way.

But like all people he has some strange quirks. That's okay. I think a big part of staying married is finding someone who's quirks you can live with.

So I'm watching "Resident Evil" the other night (yeah...I know) and my husband walks in during a scene in which Michelle Rodriguez is on the screen and asks "is that Denise Richards?"

Me: Blank stare.

Hubby: "What? Isn't that Denise Richards?"

Me: Looking at the TV screen to verify that the channel hasn't changed on it's own. Nope. Still Michelle Rodriguez on the screen. "What are you talking about?"

Hubby: Looks at TV again. "What? She looks like Denise Richards."

Me: "What planet are you from?"

I go through this kind of stuff a lot with my husband. There are times when I know we're wired differently and we will never see eye to eye on some things. However, he can't take all the blame--even on my own blog.

The thing is, I'm really literal. I mean really, really literal. I've mentioned before that I think I have Asperger's syndrome, and without belaboring the point too much, a super-literal mind is characteristic of the syndrome. Or maybe it's just me. I don't know.

Anyway, my husband is a goof-ball. Non-sequiturs are a big part of his everyday conversation. He likes "Seinfeld" to the point that he will insert quotes from the show into a conversation at will-- much to my confusion.

Just recently I was reading a book about Asperger's and trying to explain something to my husband about the syndrome when he suddenly pipes up "You're like George Costanza! You've got to do everything the opposite of the way you've been doing it your whole life!"

I literally started crying.

It took my husband about ten minutes to convince me that he was, in fact, kidding. He did not win any points for sensitivity that night.

And then it occurs to me that my husband is actually the one who could be compared to George Costanza. Throwing out an inappropriate comment is not that unusual for him. I threw a birthday party for him a few years ago and invited a ton of people. We were playing pool and hubby was playing a game with a female co-worker, Michelle, who has become friends with us over the years. Anyway, my husband missed a shot and ended up setting up Michelle perfectly for her next shot-- which she made with ease. Then hubby decides to pipe up and say, really loudly, "Oh sure, you always like my sloppy seconds" thinking that would be funny. Needless to say, every eye in the room looked at him in a slightly horrified fashion. My jaw dropped and just as I was about to whip out a can of whup ass on my husband, Michelle walks up to me, pats my arm and says, "don't worry, he knows not what he's saying..."

And you know what, she was right. He had no clue that "sloppy seconds" had a potentially offensive meaning, like this funny article I found, or that maybe it's not a good idea to say the phrase, loudly, in front of a lot of co-workers.

I think I've managed to rein him in a little though. I've tried, mightily, to get him to think before he speaks-- not an easy task. I haven't been embarrassed in front of a large crowd of people in months, so I think it's working.

The View Outside My Front Door

~I actually have this on my sci-fi blog too. The smoke is so overwhelming that it's all I can post about right now...

Okay, I have to do it. The smoke here has been crazy today. I tried to take some pictures while out driving, but it's hard to drive and take pictures-- and I don't recommend trying. So the picture here is the best I could do. I don't know if you can tell how hazy it is, but let me tell you this. It was about 2:30 in the afternoon when I took the picture and about 103 degrees. We have no clouds in the sky-- just smoke. It kind of looks like a cloudy winter day.

The other picture you see here is right off my front porch. I took it at about 7:30 in the evening. I was hoping to catch a really red sun today, but it wasn't as bright as it has been on other evenings. Normally though, you wouldn't be able to look directly at the sun, especially as it was just going down. But this shot is just as it looked from the naked eye.

I wish blogs came with smell-o-vision so you could smell the smoke too. It smells like I'm directly in the path of a campfire.

I promise. This will be my last smoke related post.

Just pray there are no floods or earthquakes in my future.

10 Year Meme

I'd say I'm sorry I haven't posted in awhile, but since I think only 4 or 5 people visit me here, it's probably not a big problem. I get it though. The family drama can get to be a bit much can't it?

But it has simmered down a bit. Thankfully. And in a weird way it leaves me at loose ends.

What on earth do I write about? I'm afraid I'm not that interesting without my dysfunctional family to gripe about. I did paint my toenails a very interesting shade of blue today though...

Fortunately Full Throttle Steve has saved me from the topic dilemma. He tagged me for a meme.

What were you doing ten years ago?

This is actually a very easy question to answer. Convenient timing too. I got married on July 18, 1998 and my 10 year anniversary is in two weeks. I was in the final stages of planning my wedding. The wedding had been a minor nightmare because my mom decided that my wedding needed to be an exact replica of my brother's. She had gotten into a weird competition with my brother over who made more money and who could spend it the most unwisely (see, I can fit family nonsense into any topic). Anyway, my mission, at the time, was to restrain my mom from turning my wedding into an out-of-control production and I have to say I think I did well. I wasn't really interested in having a big wedding, but we still ended up with 150 guests (many of whom I did not know) but it was very nice. Hot too. It was 108 degrees on my wedding day. Thank goodness we opted for an indoor wedding. Too bad the air-conditioning broke. We had a lot of sweaty guests. But they ended up happy since we had an open bar.

Five things on your to-do-list today.

Well, since it's the 4th of July, we're definitely going to light some fireworks. After that, I'm not sure...

Plan something yummy for dinner with a good dessert for a hot July holiday.

Maybe take the kids swimming (the gym pool is open part time today).

Fold the laundry. Which I %^$#*& hate.

Read.

What would you do if you were a billionaire?

First, do a happy dance.

After the obvious stuff, buy the dream house, car etc... I'd make sure my family, even my parents, were taken care of. Then, I'd try to think of what kind of Bill Gates' kind of charity thing I could do. Though I wouldn't plan on giving it all away.

What are three of your bad habits?

Oh boy, where to start?

I can be very cluttered. Thank goodness my hubby is a bit of a neat freak, he keeps me in line.

If I'm not motivated to so something it may not get done. I don't know if it's a lazy thing or a procrastination thing. I need momentum to get through the day sometimes. And lot of caffeine.

I stay up way too late.

What are some snacks you enjoy?

Brownies. Apples and peanut butter. Red peppers and ranch dressing.

What are the last five books you read?

Lies of Locke Lamora by Scott Lynch

The Four Forges by Jenna Rhodes

Stray by Rachel Vincent

Before They are Hanged by Joe Abercrombie

Fablehaven by Brandon Mull

What are five jobs you've had?

Grade school teacher.

Cocktail Waitress.

Associate Producer (television)

Title clerk for auto wholesale company.

Advertising sales & freelance writer for small newspaper.

Where are five places you have lived?

We moved a lot when I was a kid, but mostly in California. Let's see, in Ca I have lived in Palm Dessert, Palm Springs, Corona Del Mar, Irvine, Costa Mesa, Fair Oaks, Granite Bay, Roseville and Rocklin.

Klamath Falls, Oregon.

Osaka, Japan.

Who am I going to tag?

No one. I think everyone who comes here has already done this meme.

Everything is just simmering

Well, the family stuff has died down a bit. Thank God! My parents are supposedly "starting fresh," whatever that means and I think they're going to be selling some stuff to be able to pay my brother back some more money.

Isn't is nice when your parents try to do the right thing once in a while?

But I haven't been too stressed about it all. Nosiree! I tried a different strategy over the last two weeks for dealing with my family.

Nothing at all.

Yep. I didn't do a damn thing. When my brother first called me, I felt like I had to do something. Right now! I always react that way when my brother ambushes me. I don't know if it's the late hour of his calls or the urgency in his voice. Either way, he always gets me worked up.

But my husband recommended that I not do anything right away this time. He said that it really wouldn't make any difference and just because my brother drops a bomb in my lap every couple of months, it really isn't my problem.

My husband is a wise man.

So I let it lie. And you know what? The world didn't fall apart. My family figured things out for themselves-- sort of, and I didn't have to pull my hair out worrying about it.

I could get used to this.

I haven't heard from my mom in a couple of weeks, even though I asked her about selling some stuff for my brother. But he knows about it, so I'm not going to fret.

I'm going to learn how to chill out. And when my mom, or my brother, decide to get me all worked up again, I'm going to remind myself that they are in Thailand-- and too far away for me to do anything that can affect their situation in the near future.

Remind me of this when I get freaked out next time.

Picking my child's friends

*Sigh*

I feel like a heel. But I don't really know what to do about it.

My eight year old daughter made a friend at school this year. A very very obnoxious friend.

This kid drives me up the wall. It started kind of slowly. She would walk home with us occasionally and one day she pipes up... So, how come you don't let your daughter have Bratz dolls? Just 'cause you don't like them!? My mom's nice and....

That's as far as she made it before I let her know that I wasn't going to change what toys I allowed in my house because some random 8-year-old objected to it.

It's been rapidly deteriorating ever since then.

Her mom invited my daughter to go on a play-date with them and I said okay. I met the mom and she seemed nice enough and they we're going to be close by. The mom did mention how glad her daughter was to make friends with my daughter since she'd had a hard time making friends since they'd moved to the area last year-- that was the first warning sign.

Anyway, we traded play-dates a couple of times until my daughter mentioned that while she was at her friend's house, the mom had been letting the girls play out front without any supervision.

What the hell? Did I miss something here? I don't remember being asked if I was okay with my daughter playing outside unsupervised. Maybe I'm over-protective. But my kid is only eight and not a big eight-year-old at that.

I found this out just before I was to take my daughter over to their house for another play-date. So, as nicely as I could, I told the dad when we arrived that I wasn't comfortable with my daughter playing in front of the house without an adult present. Just as I say that, their 12 year old daughter pipes up....oh, I was going to take the girls to the park today to play. Is that okay?

What!? Are you kidding me? You were going to send my daughter to the park, with only a 12-year-old to watch over her, without asking me first? Are you f***ing kidding me?

So, as angry as I was, I held it together and said that I preferred that my daughter be watched by an adult. Needless to say, I haven't let my daughter go over there since.

But this isn't going away quietly. This kid. This obnoxious child. She calls my house at least twice a day. They live right down the street (an argument for never letting your child play with neighborhood kids) and she shows up on my doorstep unannounced at all hours of the day and night. I've had to tell her not to call my house late at night and that we would prefer she not show up on the doorstep without calling first--especially after dark.

We tried to tell our daughter to try to make some other friends at school and not hang out with this kid exclusively. With those instructions, my daughter walks up to her at school one day and proclaims.. I can't be your friend anymore. Ouch! I said to make other friends, not rip the kid's heart out! Of course, that day we had this little girl on our doorstep, leaving notes and breaking my heart. Of course, once we realized what our daughter had done, we told not to be that harsh and we had to back-pedal a bit just to make sure our daughter didn't turn into some heartless wench. ((My daughter could care less if she plays with this kid. She's okay if they do get together, but not bothered at all if I say no))

But now it's summer and this kid won't leave us alone. I'm getting calls everyday and she keeps trying to get my daughter to come over to play-- when hell freezes over.

I don't know what the deal is with this kid's parents. I don't know why they let their daughter run all over the neighborhood they way they do. I don't know why they let her make us hostages in our home.

For the time being I'm pretty much not answering the phone. I know it's childish, but I keep hoping this kid will lose interest if no one gets back to her. I've tried to gently talk to the parents, but them seem kind of oblivious. You'd think they'd get the hint when we pretty much cut off all the play-dates, but they don't.

Somebody please make this child leave us alone.

Oh the karma is a bitch! ** Updated**

Okay. I am so sorry I keep posting family stuff here. I really am. But I kind of feel like this bit of family drama is more in the nature of gossip.

Is it wrong to gossip about one's mom?

My brother emailed me tonight and said mom and dad are fighting and that my dad told my mom he was done with her and she might as well find someone in the States to live with.

Oh snap.

The most amazing part is that I haven't heard from my mom. That's right. She hasn't come begging at my door.

I am in shock and awe.

Personally, I doubt my mom will leave my dad. A big part of the reason is because I'm not sure anyone here will take her and she has no money. Well, other than what she can take from my dad's social security-- and that isn't much.

I'm kind of on pins and needles waiting to hear from my brother. He'll probably call me next week. At two in the morning.

**Update**

I heard a little more from my brother last night. My mom apparently decided to tell my dad how she really feels and she let loose with a barrage of you're a loser and a prick and my life is ruined because of you. So then my dad asks her if she told me that she was the one who turned down the offer on the house?

Boy. My mom will walk a thousand miles to avoid responsibility for anything won't she? My dad has screwed up a lot but I suspect she's laid a lot as his feet that he isn't responsible for. I bet the main reason my brother is struggling financially is because my mom is the one who insists on staying in the hotel.

Oh well. Not my problem. She's not living with me. Knowing her she'll find a way to suck up to my dad and smooth things over. For her sake, she better.

Why does my family have to live in crazy town?

Every two months or so, my brother ambushes me with a phone call. It's usually at 1:00 in the morning or some equally heinous hour. I don't know why. He just thinks he can do that because I'm his sister. Unfortunately he's right. I'd hang up on pretty much anyone other than him.

((Quick aside: my son just ran by carrying his Transformer blanket singing the Transformer song "Transformers...more than meets the eye..." He's making a fort in the living room. Cutest thing I've ever seen.))

This is the brother who lives in Thailand. Up until recently I thought he was living with my parents but I guess they've decided to live in a hotel in a nearby town. Apparently my mom likes room service.

When my brother gets mad his phone calls are kind of hard to decipher. Also, there's the added difficulty that his phone calls from Thailand are made on a phone card that usually runs out after six minutes or so. So his conversation comes at me in machine gun like bursts. I mean, he goes! I only hear from him every couple of months so he tries to cram as much information he can and it's pretty overwhelming. Let me tell you.

It goes something like this.

"Theresa, OMGwheredoIstart?Youcan'tbelievehowbadmomanddadarebeing.TheyaresuchassholesThey'respendingallofthemoney.Ihadtohockmyweddingringandmom'sbraggingabouthavingroomservice.They'rethemostworthlesspeopleever!

After about two minutes my head is exploding.

I'm so glad my family is half a world away. Although in a perfect world, my brother would come back and my mom and dad would stay in Thailand.

That may be what happens next.

I don't know the whole story, but then I never do. I did get a fairly nasty email from my mom a few weeks ago after I told her that I thought it was b.s. that they didn't pay my brother back and I was a bit bothered by the fact that they paid to store a bunch of clothes she didn't need while leaving behind all the art projects my brothers and I had made as kids. (you know, the little ashtrays and flowerpots kids make in second grade to give to mom and dad? Though I doubt anyone makes ashtrays anymore) Anyway, she sent me back a bile filled note full of denial and guilt. Pretty much what I expected. So I sent her back a note saying that my son and I have Asperger's and I can't deal with any of her b.s. right now. Surprisingly she then sent me a very nice note full of motherly love. That really shocked me. More than the mean note. Until my brother tells me that now my mom is telling everyone that I'm mad at her because I'm autistic and I don't know what I'm saying. I'm too addled to know what's what.

Now that's the mom I know and love.

So, since my parents are in the process of well and truly screwing my brother I'm selling the few items my parents asked me to hold for them so I can send the money to my brother. Oddly, I feel guilty for doing this. I've never been one to go against my word and I feel weird in doing something that seems so blatantly "screw you." But if my brother has to hock his wedding ring to buy food and my mom is gloating that she doesn't have to clean up her room because she has room service, I guess I can sell a couple of things for my brother without guilt.

Man, my mom's email is going to be really bad now. Maybe she won't talk to me anymore. Now that's something to hope for.

Ebay Issues

I put some stuff up on Ebay over the last two weeks and I have come to realize that I am more obsessive compulsive than I had previously realized.

I cannot walk upstairs without turning on the computer to check my auction. I can't walk in the house without walking directly upstairs to turn on the computer to check the auction.

Right now it's a very good thing I don't have a laptop.

And I can't just look at the listing to see if the price has gone up. (Currently I am patting myself on the back because I have an actual-- no wait! 7 actual bids on my item. I'm on fire). I have to check the number of hits I have gotten. (93). and then I have to go to my "selling" page and see how many watchers I have. (14).

My auction ends tomorrow night so you know I will be sitting there, at the last minute, watching to see if there is a bidding war. It was rather exciting the last time. The two people who were competing over my last item didn't enter their last minute bids until there were only 14 seconds left to bid. That was a nail biter for sure.

I so need to get a life.

Hope You Don't Mind If I Have a Private Moment...

This has been an interesting week. To say the least.

I mentioned, a couple of posts ago, that I have been potty training my son and that, at 4 1/2, he is a bit late in his training. I love my son, more than words can say, but I have not been blind to the fact that he hasn't been on the same track developmentally as most kids his age. I have brought it up, from time-to-time, with his pediatrician and was usually told that I was "over-comparing" him to other kids. I knew better than to accept that from the pediatrician, but I let it lie for awhile. I didn't want to deal with the elephant in the room that most parents don't want to deal with.

Autism.

This word carries so much weight these days. We hear about it a lot. We hear that the numbers are on the rise and we hear about celebrities like Jenny McCarthy that they too have kids with Autism.

God bless Jenny McCarthy. At first I denied that my son could have Autism because he seemed to function so much better than the stereotypical Autistic child. I remember watching "Rainman" and thinking the sort of idiot-savant that Dustin Hoffman played was what Autism was all about. That can't be my son I thought, my son hugs me, he tells me he loves me. He comes running to me when I come home from the store with a loud "Mom!" and a big hug. How could this child have Autism?

And then a funny thing happened. I started reading about it and I discovered a neurological disorder on the Autism spectrum called Asperger's Syndrome. And an even funnier thing happened. I realized that not only does my son have virtually all the criteria that would garner him a diagnosis as having Asperger's, I do as well.

I've always felt like a square-peg in a round-hole world, but I always found things to blame it on. I was adopted. I went to 11 different schools from kindergarten through 12 grade. Of course I was socially awkward. But the thing is, even in a safe environment, away from social situations that can leave me in a horrible state of anxiety, I'm still not what you might think of as normal. I look normal. I can pass for normal. I can hold a job and go to parent-teacher conferences relatively well. But if you and I were having a face to face conversation, I would have to force myself to look into your eyes. I do this because it's what I've come to believe is expected of me in social situations but I don't "get" why I should do it. My son is the same way.

When I go to a party with my husband I really get stressed out. I've never been able to read people very well. I tend to run on conversationally and have a one track mind that is staggering in it's focus. I cannot go-with-the-flow conversationally because my mind will stay on whatever track I started on and will not shift gears unless I make a conscious effort to do so. I tend to be blunt but think of myself as "honest." I don't mean to hurt other people's feelings but since I am not naturally tactful I do sometimes. I don't like to be touched (which drives my husband crazy) and can't stand loud noises of any kind. If I'm in a room full of people I will go into sensory overload and have to leave to spend time by myself. I usually stay up late every night just to be alone.

I could go on and on but I think I would bore you. The point of all this is that despite my personal diagnosis of Asperger's, I've managed to do okay. I have been with my husband for 13 years despite my social retardation. Most people would never, ever, dream that I suffer from a form of Autism. Thank goodness.

In a weird way I'm glad I have Asperger's. I would prefer that my son didn't have it, but since he does I think I am uniquely qualified to help him navigate through a world he won't understand. I can't give him enlightenment, but I can give him a few coping mechanisms. I would prefer that I didn't have this genetic mutation to pass on to my child (Asperger's generally runs in families and often the adult sufferer will be diagnosed at the same time as the child) but I can't help what has already happened.

The one thing that gives me hope is now I know why I am the way I am. I now know why I have a hard time relating to people and prefer the companionship I find among the blogging community. I don't need to read facial expressions here. All I have to do is read the words on a page and I can do that. I can also stand as an example to my son. I can say to him, I graduated college. I got married and had kids. I know how to love even if I don't know how to express it. I know what it is to be you, and you're going to be just fine.....

For more information on Asperger's Syndrome, THIS is an excellent place to start.

Six Unremarkable Things Meme

Avery tagged me with this meme, and it appears that for this meme I'm supposed to come up with 6 uninteresting facts about myself. There are rules to this meme, not all of which I am going to follow... but I'll list them here.

* Link the person who tagged you.
* Mention the rules in your blog.
* Tell about six unspectacular quirks
* Tag six bloggers by linking them. (I have fewer than six regulars on this particular blog and I'm sure most of them have already done this meme)
* Leave a comment on each of the tagged blogger's blogs letting them know they've been tagged. (read comment on previous rule)

Frankly I could come up with so much more blandness.

But I will limit my list to the six that I am supposed to limit it to. You should be grateful.

1. I'm not a naturally tidy person. My house is usually pretty clean because between my husband and I we get the chores done-- but I hate doing it. I never rebelled as a kid and I think my messy room was the only form of rebellion I felt comfortable acting out on. I hope my kids are just like me.

2. I sneeze when I see bright light. I can walk out into the sunshine or just look into a light bulb--I'll sneeze every time. My kids both do this too.

3. I am profoundly without rhythm. I didn't know what an 8-count was until I was on drill team in high school. I never learned how to play any musical instruments so rhythm has been quite the mystery for me most of my life. If I'm a crowd of people who are clapping to the beat, I have to watch everyone else so I am not the person clapping between beats.

4. I am a dress-for-comfort person. I have learned over the course of my life that I will abandon style for comfort any day of the week. I think Crocs were sent by the hand of God (or Shiva, or whomever) just to sooth my feet. (Though I did buy the cute little pair above--in two colors-- so I wouldn't look like I had duck feet all the time) I try to mitigate this by making sure my hair and make-up are as nice as I can make them. But I only wear heels for really dressy occasions. I think the last was my wedding. I can, however, walk in heels. I always feel a little sorry for women who look like they're walking on their tip-toes while wearing heels. Or walking on glass. I feel their pain.

5. My toenails are currently painted purple.

6. I went to school in Japan and got a minor in the subject in college but don't speak the language at all anymore. While I was there I realized I would never want to live or work there so I never bothered to keep up my conversational Japanese. It hasn't been a problem either.

So that's it. I'm not tagging anyone specifically, but if you'd like to do the meme, consider yourself tagged.

The Fame Bubble

Whenever I try to think of posts for my blog, I often muse on different fantasy & sci-fi topics. I'll often scan the news trying to find some sort of real-life story as a tie-in on my blog. Those are some of my favorites.

But I realized I have probably missed one of the most obvious fantasy tie-ins ever in my year-and-a-half of blogging.

The Fame Bubble.

That's right folks. If you haven't heard of The Fame Bubble, then you don't watch enough Kathy Griffin.

The Fame Bubble is a term that Kathy has given to the strange little fantasy world that celebrities live in. You know what I'm talking about. The world that somehow convinces celebrities that they can give their kids names like Apple or Banjo and somehow the fame they enjoy will insulate their children from all the insults any child of a lesser person would experience.

The Fame Bubble must be a happy place, don't you think?

Imagine for a minute if you got to live in The Fame Bubble............

You would never have to consort with the common rabble ever again. If you need new clothes, the store will shut down for you-- and probably give you most of your clothes for free! You want to to to Magic Mountain, they'll close the park for you so you never have to wait in line. (Just ask Mariah Carey) Never will you have to watch a movie that doesn't have a red carpet and an entourage-- at least as long as your Fame Bubble is big enough that is.

Having children in the Fame Bubble is a totally different experience than that of the rest of us plebes as well. Naturally every part of the pregnancy will be covered with appropriate reverence and if you're a first time mom, no problem; the doctors will be more than willing to schedule you a C-section so you don't have to go through any unnecessary pain, or messy labor. Of course, once your perfect child comes into the world, appropriately named Huckleberry or Credenza, he or she will be on the cover of every magazine on the planet-- scoring you no less than $6 million a picture.

Working in The Fame Bubble is something completely different too. I do hear from time to time that the hours are a bit long and that the hard working celebrities may have to lounge around in their opulently appointed trailers, while suffering through manicures and hair extensions, while waiting for their scenes to be shot. But I suppose the $20 million dollar paycheck does compensate one a little bit for that hard three months of work.

Normal rules of decency can be completely ignored in The Fame Bubble too. It is perfectly acceptable to flash one's privates in any venue and clothing may be see-through for most major events.

Getting into shape need not involve too much work either. Regular visits to the doctor for regular liposuction will keep those pesky love-handles at bay. And if the personal chefs, trainers and lap-bands don't do the job, air-brushing will be used liberally.

In The Fame Bubble, you are the center of the universe. People do hang on your every word. Whole legions will be devoted to the perfection that is you. You will have fan clubs and blogs that follow every significant event of your life. No one will fail to notice that new hair-do, I promise.

Maybe I'm being a little hard on those who live in The Fame Bubble though. I mean, the fame bubble does come with all the annoying paparazzi. I mean, who needs to deal with all those cameras while you're stumbling drunk down Sunset Blvd six days a week? Jeez, some people are so judgemental. And if one wants to have a tirade on a talk show and tell all the women in the world that they're evil for taking anti-depressants for postpartum depression, shouldn't one be able to do that without all the little people thinking they ought to have an opinion? I mean really, Scientology does have all the answers.

The Fame Bubble says so.

Do we really believe this guy?

You may have seen this video before. It's been on MTV for awhile and I noticed a lot of people are talking about it on the net. But I can't help it. I must know what you think.

If you haven't seen this, the video is of a man who claims to be straight, but does gay porn for a living. Don't worry, this video isn't graphic. It's from the MTV show "True Life."

I gotta say, I don't believe this guy can be straight. I don't care how much money he makes. There's no way a guy can have gay sex and not be attracted to men. Is there?

This guy (I think his name is Aaron) says he makes $5000 a shoot and does about 8 a month. That is a whole lot of money. But still... I wouldn't do it.

But is it a gay thing or is it a moral issue? I don't have anything against gay people-- that's not what I mean by moral issue. For me, having video of myself out there having sex would be the main problem-- I really don't need my kids ever seeing anything like that. But there is less of a stigma for women having gay sex isn't there? For the record, I have never been one to "experiment." I don't know when girl on girl action came into vogue, but I certainly never felt any desire to make out with a girl. I guess that's why I have a hard time believing this guy is straight.

I'm not attracted to women and frankly, no amount of money is going to change that. I'm not coming at it from a moral angle. Really it's just a matter of desire. I don't want to grope another woman and I don't want to be groped. No offense. But I prefer men.

So I'm baffled by a guy who claims to like women but will have sex with men for money. Isn't that a bit drastic? I know he wants to have a nice lifestyle and all, but my goodness. That's like selling your soul to the devil isn't it? Especially if he's being honest and he really truly isn't attracted to men. Suppose for a second that he is telling the truth. How does he turn off his normal instincts to complete the act? Drugs? Alcohol? Denial?

I really don't get it.

Happy Mother's Day

I'm taking it easy today. Hope you are too......

Missed the Emergency Room... Barely

Thanks for the kind replies on my last post. I don't mean to keep venting about my parents, but man, they make me crazy.

My mom hasn't emailed me back either. No big surprise there.

So we just got back from Disneyland and mostly it was a good trip. Better for me than my husband. The poor guy got food poisoning. We don't know what caused it, but neither me nor the kids got sick so it was obviously something only my husband ate.

I hope I never get food poisoning. Let me tell you, it's ugly.

My husband started feeling sick on Monday morning, which was our first full day at the park. We had taken the kids to the Electric Light Parade on Sunday night (which they looooved) and while I took my son back to the hotel room to put him to bed my husband and my daughter went to see the Fantasmic Light Show. They got back to the room around 11:30 so my husband was pretty tired after driving all day and then staying up so late. On Monday morning he wasn't feeling too well, but assumed he was just tired.

We got to the park as it opened on Monday and headed over to the Finding Nemo ride. If you haven't been to Disneyland lately, be prepared to wait in a long line for Nemo. It doesn't have a fast pass and every kid wants to go on it, so at best, you'll wait 45 minutes. Poor hubby wasn't too sure if he was up to it but stuck it out and we made it through. After the ride I told him to go to the room and get some sleep and I'd meet him back there in a couple of hours. My kids were really tired too, so we didn't hit too many rides before they wanted to go back to the room and rest.

I thought for sure hubby would be rested and well by the time we got back but unfortunately that wasn't the case. He was lying on the bed, pale as can be and in too much pain to sleep.

At this point I wasn't really sure what to do. I wasn't sure how sick he was so the only thing I could think to do was take the kids to the pool so he could have a chance to rest some more and hopefully sleep. We went through this cycle all day. I'd take the kids out for an hour or two, hoping hubby was finally getting some rest, only to come back and see he was in worse condition. I won't go into the gory details, but his body was definitely purging something at this point. By the time evening rolled around, I was just trying to keep the kids away so they wouldn't be alarmed.

This is my worst nightmare when it comes to being away from home. My son had an ear infection that had me taking him to the Emergency Room about two weeks before we left. I kept telling my husband how lucky we were that it happened before our trip so we didn't end up in the hospital while on vacation. And now I was faced with a sick husband without knowing what was wrong and should I take him to the hospital. Monday night was a bit nervous for me and hubby but we decided to wait and see how he felt Tuesday morning. I had already decided that if he didn't feel any better Tuesday that I would take him to the ER.

Let me tell you, my husband is one heck of a strong guy. After a miserable, pain filled day, he was up Tuesday morning ready to take the kids to Disneyland. I couldn't believe it. If it had been me, I would probably have been down for a week. But not my guy. He was so funny too. He kept telling me he wasn't 100%. He'd give me a run-down during the day saying he was about 70% or so. By Wednesday he assured me he was feeling at least 80% of normal. He even drove home.

Luckily my kids didn't even really know anything was wrong. They knew Daddy wasn't feeling well but we managed to keep them out of the room while he was really sick so they didn't have a clue as to how bad it was. So they got a trip to Disneyland and they get to remember it as a happy one. Not one spent in the Emergency Room. Thank God.

I am in awe of my husband.

Wow, no matter how far away they are, they can still screw things up for me

So I get an email from my mom this morning.

Ugh.

I get about one email a month from my mom. Generally they don't say much. I've gotten more info about what's going on with her and my dad in Thailand from the one phone call I got from my brother. But this time she decided to ask me why I haven't sent pictures to her.

The last email she sent she asked me to send pictures, specifically of my house. No mention of the kids. Naturally, I was suspicious. I figure my dad wants to see pictures of the house so he can pick out their bedroom. So without saying anything I just didn't send any pictures over. I did that because the whole non-acknowledgement thing is my mom's strategy. Whenever I ask her something she doesn't want to answer, she just ignores the question. I thought, okay, I'll do the same thing and put her on the spot. If she wants to know what's up, she's going to have to ask. And she never does that.

But she finally did. A day before we leave for Disneyland. Great timing mom.

So I had to tell her what's what. I had to tell her the stuff I found out about after they left. I had to tell her that I was offended they paid for a storage unit to store her clothes but left behind the stuff my brothers and I made for her as kids. I had to tell her that I'm not letting them stay here if they come back to the states.

This sucks.

I hate being in the position of having to lay all this out. I hate having to send off that email and potentially leave without knowing what kind of a reaction she's going to have to it. I hate that I will probably be mulling over this during my trip to Disneyland. I want to enjoy myself and I don't need any more of their B.S.

Why do my parents have to be such shits?