Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Everything is just simmering

Well, the family stuff has died down a bit. Thank God! My parents are supposedly "starting fresh," whatever that means and I think they're going to be selling some stuff to be able to pay my brother back some more money.

Isn't is nice when your parents try to do the right thing once in a while?

But I haven't been too stressed about it all. Nosiree! I tried a different strategy over the last two weeks for dealing with my family.

Nothing at all.

Yep. I didn't do a damn thing. When my brother first called me, I felt like I had to do something. Right now! I always react that way when my brother ambushes me. I don't know if it's the late hour of his calls or the urgency in his voice. Either way, he always gets me worked up.

But my husband recommended that I not do anything right away this time. He said that it really wouldn't make any difference and just because my brother drops a bomb in my lap every couple of months, it really isn't my problem.

My husband is a wise man.

So I let it lie. And you know what? The world didn't fall apart. My family figured things out for themselves-- sort of, and I didn't have to pull my hair out worrying about it.

I could get used to this.

I haven't heard from my mom in a couple of weeks, even though I asked her about selling some stuff for my brother. But he knows about it, so I'm not going to fret.

I'm going to learn how to chill out. And when my mom, or my brother, decide to get me all worked up again, I'm going to remind myself that they are in Thailand-- and too far away for me to do anything that can affect their situation in the near future.

Remind me of this when I get freaked out next time.

Thursday, June 19, 2008

Picking my child's friends


I feel like a heel. But I don't really know what to do about it.

My eight year old daughter made a friend at school this year. A very very obnoxious friend.

This kid drives me up the wall. It started kind of slowly. She would walk home with us occasionally and one day she pipes up... So, how come you don't let your daughter have Bratz dolls? Just 'cause you don't like them!? My mom's nice and....

That's as far as she made it before I let her know that I wasn't going to change what toys I allowed in my house because some random 8-year-old objected to it.

It's been rapidly deteriorating ever since then.

Her mom invited my daughter to go on a play-date with them and I said okay. I met the mom and she seemed nice enough and they we're going to be close by. The mom did mention how glad her daughter was to make friends with my daughter since she'd had a hard time making friends since they'd moved to the area last year-- that was the first warning sign.

Anyway, we traded play-dates a couple of times until my daughter mentioned that while she was at her friend's house, the mom had been letting the girls play out front without any supervision.

What the hell? Did I miss something here? I don't remember being asked if I was okay with my daughter playing outside unsupervised. Maybe I'm over-protective. But my kid is only eight and not a big eight-year-old at that.

I found this out just before I was to take my daughter over to their house for another play-date. So, as nicely as I could, I told the dad when we arrived that I wasn't comfortable with my daughter playing in front of the house without an adult present. Just as I say that, their 12 year old daughter pipes up....oh, I was going to take the girls to the park today to play. Is that okay?

What!? Are you kidding me? You were going to send my daughter to the park, with only a 12-year-old to watch over her, without asking me first? Are you f***ing kidding me?

So, as angry as I was, I held it together and said that I preferred that my daughter be watched by an adult. Needless to say, I haven't let my daughter go over there since.

But this isn't going away quietly. This kid. This obnoxious child. She calls my house at least twice a day. They live right down the street (an argument for never letting your child play with neighborhood kids) and she shows up on my doorstep unannounced at all hours of the day and night. I've had to tell her not to call my house late at night and that we would prefer she not show up on the doorstep without calling first--especially after dark.

We tried to tell our daughter to try to make some other friends at school and not hang out with this kid exclusively. With those instructions, my daughter walks up to her at school one day and proclaims.. I can't be your friend anymore. Ouch! I said to make other friends, not rip the kid's heart out! Of course, that day we had this little girl on our doorstep, leaving notes and breaking my heart. Of course, once we realized what our daughter had done, we told not to be that harsh and we had to back-pedal a bit just to make sure our daughter didn't turn into some heartless wench. ((My daughter could care less if she plays with this kid. She's okay if they do get together, but not bothered at all if I say no))

But now it's summer and this kid won't leave us alone. I'm getting calls everyday and she keeps trying to get my daughter to come over to play-- when hell freezes over.

I don't know what the deal is with this kid's parents. I don't know why they let their daughter run all over the neighborhood they way they do. I don't know why they let her make us hostages in our home.

For the time being I'm pretty much not answering the phone. I know it's childish, but I keep hoping this kid will lose interest if no one gets back to her. I've tried to gently talk to the parents, but them seem kind of oblivious. You'd think they'd get the hint when we pretty much cut off all the play-dates, but they don't.

Somebody please make this child leave us alone.

Monday, June 16, 2008

Oh the karma is a bitch! ** Updated**

Okay. I am so sorry I keep posting family stuff here. I really am. But I kind of feel like this bit of family drama is more in the nature of gossip.

Is it wrong to gossip about one's mom?

My brother emailed me tonight and said mom and dad are fighting and that my dad told my mom he was done with her and she might as well find someone in the States to live with.

Oh snap.

The most amazing part is that I haven't heard from my mom. That's right. She hasn't come begging at my door.

I am in shock and awe.

Personally, I doubt my mom will leave my dad. A big part of the reason is because I'm not sure anyone here will take her and she has no money. Well, other than what she can take from my dad's social security-- and that isn't much.

I'm kind of on pins and needles waiting to hear from my brother. He'll probably call me next week. At two in the morning.


I heard a little more from my brother last night. My mom apparently decided to tell my dad how she really feels and she let loose with a barrage of you're a loser and a prick and my life is ruined because of you. So then my dad asks her if she told me that she was the one who turned down the offer on the house?

Boy. My mom will walk a thousand miles to avoid responsibility for anything won't she? My dad has screwed up a lot but I suspect she's laid a lot as his feet that he isn't responsible for. I bet the main reason my brother is struggling financially is because my mom is the one who insists on staying in the hotel.

Oh well. Not my problem. She's not living with me. Knowing her she'll find a way to suck up to my dad and smooth things over. For her sake, she better.

Tuesday, June 10, 2008

Why does my family have to live in crazy town?

Every two months or so, my brother ambushes me with a phone call. It's usually at 1:00 in the morning or some equally heinous hour. I don't know why. He just thinks he can do that because I'm his sister. Unfortunately he's right. I'd hang up on pretty much anyone other than him.

((Quick aside: my son just ran by carrying his Transformer blanket singing the Transformer song "Transformers...more than meets the eye..." He's making a fort in the living room. Cutest thing I've ever seen.))

This is the brother who lives in Thailand. Up until recently I thought he was living with my parents but I guess they've decided to live in a hotel in a nearby town. Apparently my mom likes room service.

When my brother gets mad his phone calls are kind of hard to decipher. Also, there's the added difficulty that his phone calls from Thailand are made on a phone card that usually runs out after six minutes or so. So his conversation comes at me in machine gun like bursts. I mean, he goes! I only hear from him every couple of months so he tries to cram as much information he can and it's pretty overwhelming. Let me tell you.

It goes something like this.

"Theresa, OMGwheredoIstart?Youcan'tbelievehowbadmomanddadarebeing.TheyaresuchassholesThey'respendingallofthemoney.Ihadtohockmyweddingringandmom'sbraggingabouthavingroomservice.They'rethemostworthlesspeopleever!

After about two minutes my head is exploding.

I'm so glad my family is half a world away. Although in a perfect world, my brother would come back and my mom and dad would stay in Thailand.

That may be what happens next.

I don't know the whole story, but then I never do. I did get a fairly nasty email from my mom a few weeks ago after I told her that I thought it was b.s. that they didn't pay my brother back and I was a bit bothered by the fact that they paid to store a bunch of clothes she didn't need while leaving behind all the art projects my brothers and I had made as kids. (you know, the little ashtrays and flowerpots kids make in second grade to give to mom and dad? Though I doubt anyone makes ashtrays anymore) Anyway, she sent me back a bile filled note full of denial and guilt. Pretty much what I expected. So I sent her back a note saying that my son and I have Asperger's and I can't deal with any of her b.s. right now. Surprisingly she then sent me a very nice note full of motherly love. That really shocked me. More than the mean note. Until my brother tells me that now my mom is telling everyone that I'm mad at her because I'm autistic and I don't know what I'm saying. I'm too addled to know what's what.

Now that's the mom I know and love.

So, since my parents are in the process of well and truly screwing my brother I'm selling the few items my parents asked me to hold for them so I can send the money to my brother. Oddly, I feel guilty for doing this. I've never been one to go against my word and I feel weird in doing something that seems so blatantly "screw you." But if my brother has to hock his wedding ring to buy food and my mom is gloating that she doesn't have to clean up her room because she has room service, I guess I can sell a couple of things for my brother without guilt.

Man, my mom's email is going to be really bad now. Maybe she won't talk to me anymore. Now that's something to hope for.

Monday, June 02, 2008

Ebay Issues

I put some stuff up on Ebay over the last two weeks and I have come to realize that I am more obsessive compulsive than I had previously realized.

I cannot walk upstairs without turning on the computer to check my auction. I can't walk in the house without walking directly upstairs to turn on the computer to check the auction.

Right now it's a very good thing I don't have a laptop.

And I can't just look at the listing to see if the price has gone up. (Currently I am patting myself on the back because I have an actual-- no wait! 7 actual bids on my item. I'm on fire). I have to check the number of hits I have gotten. (93). and then I have to go to my "selling" page and see how many watchers I have. (14).

My auction ends tomorrow night so you know I will be sitting there, at the last minute, watching to see if there is a bidding war. It was rather exciting the last time. The two people who were competing over my last item didn't enter their last minute bids until there were only 14 seconds left to bid. That was a nail biter for sure.

I so need to get a life.